Weekly Tips and Advice

To Say or Not to Say, that is the Question

Posted by on May 7, 2018 in Responsibly Healthy Tips | Comments Off on To Say or Not to Say, that is the Question

To Say or Not to Say, that is the Question

“Words can inspire. And words can destroy. Choose yours well.” ~Robin Sharma

As a person who is invested in personal growth, I am always reading and on the lookout for areas within myself that I can work on, improve or change. My belief is if we are not growing and learning then we essentially just exist. Where is the fun in that? You can believe this or not, your choice, however I find this one area I am playing with now (growing can be fun too) is something most everyone could potentially benefit from.

To say or not to say

I am asking you to challenge yourself and test my theory to see if the process I am going to suggest here creates some improvement in your life via your interactions with people and your overall feelings of wellbeing, even if just slightly.

Based on the chosen quote above you are probably guessing it has something to do with words. Yes, indeed it does.

Here is the challenge:

For a trial period ask yourself the following questions before you speak and if the answer to each of the following three questions is not a resounding YES then you say nothing at all.

Is it True?

I mean really true, and can be proven without much doubt. Is factual, not made up? Is not a judgement based on your perspective? Remember, what may be true for you may not be true for someone else, so this needs to be considered as well. I am sure you get the gist.

Is it Kind?

Let’s be honest with ourselves here, we all say nasty stuff at times that is not kind. We either say it behind people’s backs or to their face if pushed. No one is perfect in this regard, although some are better than others. However, words can hurt and damage relationships. They can’t be taken back once uttered and hurtful words really do not serve any purpose other than to stroke our inflated and wounded egos. If you are not sure if what you are about to say is kind, then err on the side of caution. If our words are meant to hurt someone, degrade someone either directly or indirectly by hurting their reputation then the answer is NO.


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New Year, New You!

Posted by on Jan 15, 2018 in Responsibly Healthy Tips | Comments Off on New Year, New You!

New Year, New You!

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.” ~Albert Einstein

Welcome to 2018! As you read this I am sure most of you have already made wonderful New Year’s resolutions, and I dare say many have probably already been broken. I speak from personal experience, and word on the street. Maybe you are the exception, and I certainly hope so. Maybe this new year you even decided not to make any because, well, they always get broken anyway so why bother, right? I have heard this one a lot this year.

New year

What if this new year could be different? What if you came at it from a different angle? If the old method of making and breaking resolutions has you pessimistic about the whole idea, why not try something new?

Let’s look at resolutions in general. For the most part they are generally about stopping something or starting something. Being creatures of habit, and we all know old habits die hard, we can go for so long before we succumb to those habits and the next thing you know those darn resolutions are broken.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all about breaking habits that don’t serve us, and starting new habits that will make us better versions of ourselves. However, this year I am suggesting a different type of resolution that goes deeper than the surface of the habits. I am suggesting going to the cause and resolving to deal with and change that.

“Excellence is doing a common thing in an uncommon way.” ~Albert Einstein

Beneath every self-defeating habit there is something compelling us, something driving us, something giving us the inertia to continue and not stop.

Let’s look at some of the most common possibilities and see if any resonate with you:

  • Low self-worth
  • Low self-esteem

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Self-Care While Grieving and Why It Matters

Posted by on Dec 11, 2017 in Grief Recovery, Responsibly Healthy Tips | Comments Off on Self-Care While Grieving and Why It Matters

Self-Care While Grieving and Why It Matters

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection.” ~Buddha

When we think of self-care we can often think self-ish, and not in a good way. This is an unfortunate association, especially in times of loss and the inevitable pain of grief. Self-care is important for our health and during times of grief it is vitally important. In today’s society, more than ever we seem to be constantly on the go, busy doing, and stressed to the max, and when grief hits it can quite literally knock the wind out of our sails.


On any given day we only have so much energy, you can liken this to time and each day we are only given 24 hours. Our energy is our currency and grief can and will use up a lot of it every day until we find our way to recovery. So, during our times of grief we must find ways to care for and replenish our very precious currency and life force, otherwise we will end up depleted. When we are depleted we will borrow energy from our bodies, leading to sickness, or we may innocently steal from our loved ones or friends, draining them of their vital energy. Either way we all lose.

Here are some ways you can preserve, replenish

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Wounded People Hurt, Healed People Love

Posted by on Oct 30, 2017 in Grief Recovery, Responsibly Healthy Tips | Comments Off on Wounded People Hurt, Healed People Love

Wounded People Hurt, Healed People Love

“For what you do to others, you do to

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We Need to STOP Shooting the Messenger

Posted by on Sep 25, 2017 in Responsibly Healthy Tips | Comments Off on We Need to STOP Shooting the Messenger

We Need to STOP Shooting the Messenger

“A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses.” ~Hippocrates

What do I mean when I say we need to stop shooting the messenger, you are surely asking. What I mean by this is a paradox as it is both quite simple and rather complicated. It is simple in theory and complicated in practice.


Let’s look at simple first and then we can touch on complicated.

In simple terms, stop shooting the messenger means to stop blaming anything or anyone for our health issues and to start taking personal responsibility instead. This will be a hard pill for many to swallow because when we take responsibility it means we must make choices and sometimes very tough choices. We need to change whatever mental patterns, lifestyle choices, stressors, or toxins environmental or otherwise that have contributed to our health challenges. We need to give our own bodies the tools in which to heal itself.

Illness and disease is our body’s way of telling us whatever lifestyle we are living, whatever we are holding onto emotionally, or whatever we have going on in our lives is not serving us and our health. While illness and disease of any kind are horrible, sometimes deadly and “suck” as many people proclaim; that is the messenger and we need to start listening to what it is telling us.

It is no secret the top leading diseases are often preventable and lifestyle created diseases. The stats on this are staggering. I am not going to throw out numbers here or quote sites, you can do your own research as this is not the point of this article. But, this is now where things get complicated.

Here are some of the dynamics that make the creation of health so complicated.

Conflicts of Interest

This is probably the biggest creator of the perpetuation of disease on the planet. Let’s face it, the ‘health’ industry is big business. There is more money and profits to be gained in people getting and remaining sick and needing drugs and treatment for their illnesses and disease than there is in a healthy population not requiring drugs and/or treatments.
True prevention and cures, natural or not, are just not profitable to the industries that benefit from you being sick. Sickness is big business and there is no denying the truth in this.

Ignorance is Bliss and Misguided

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How to Grieve Someone Who Has Chosen Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID)

Posted by on Aug 14, 2017 in Grief Recovery, Responsibly Healthy Tips | Comments Off on How to Grieve Someone Who Has Chosen Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID)

How to Grieve Someone Who Has Chosen Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID)

“Mankind’s greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice. We can make our choices built form love or from fear.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

If someone we know and love has chosen Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) to end their pain and suffering there is no simple answer on how to grieve the loss, it’s just complicated.

Medical assistance in dying

It’s complicated because medical assistance in dying goes against what we have always believed to be the natural order of dying. It questions our beliefs and morality. In our minds and our hearts, it ranks up there with suicide, murder, and freak accidents. “Death isn’t supposed to happen this way,” will echo within every fiber of our being. We have not been raised in a culture that has subscribed to MAID until now, animals being the exception. This is all new to us, and like it or not most likely here to stay.

So, the question becomes how do we deal with it? How do we get on with the process of grieving and mourning our loss in the midst of all this confusion and complication?

First, we need to find acceptance. We need to accept every individual’s personal freedom of choice. We need to accept that not everyone is going to make the same choice we would make, and at the same time let go of the notion or belief that we would chose any differently if we were facing the same pain and suffering. Only until we have truly walked in another person’s shoes can we rightfully say we would choose differently. Even if that was the truth and the case for us, we still must honor and accept other people’s choices for themselves. This is what unconditional love is all about, the path of true compassion, love and peace.

Second, we need to let go of attachment to our beliefs. If our beliefs will not let us accept then we will not be able to fully grieve the loss and will only harbor anger, resentment and pain. We can maintain our beliefs if we so choose, but not attaching to them as being right and others wrong will help us to release any feelings that impede our ability to let go, fully grieve and forgive if necessary for our healing.

This is not the time for self-righteous judgment if we want to successfully navigate our grieving, find peace and heal our hearts. The two cannot co-exist.


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Five Hidden Traps of Comparing

Posted by on May 7, 2017 in Responsibly Healthy Tips | Comments Off on Five Hidden Traps of Comparing

Five Hidden Traps of Comparing

 “Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

We all do it: constantly compare ourselves to others. Then we base our self-worth on how we rate compared to others based on some measuring stick that either our family and/or society have imposed upon us. So, what effect does this narcissistic need to compare have upon us, our lives and our level of wellbeing?


Low Self-Worth

This seems obvious and the mother of all the others, however it is not always apparent as advertising, social media, television, and society at large can keep us trapped in this one for a very long time if not a life time. There are always going to be people who are more attractive, smarter, fitter, ambitious, richer, popular, happier, and successful (no matter how you measure it.) You name it, someone or something will be more of it, whatever it is to us. No wonder we can feel so bad about ourselves, at times feeling unworthy of love, admiration, affection, attention… the list goes on. The only real solution is to stop trying to be like someone else and focus on just being the best version of you each day. The only thing to compare yourself to is yourself, and whether you are better than you were yesterday, last week, or last year.


When we rate ourselves based on others and the bar seems so high and out of reach why bother trying, right? That can be the go to solution for many. So instead of doing anything to improve, the easier option is to just do nothing and stay the same. Then to feel accepted and better about ourselves the next step is to surround ourselves with people who are also complacent, not wanting to improve, grow or change. You all know the saying, “Misery loves company.” As much as we may look like we are okay with this, deep down there will be a discontentment that gets buried and forgotten, only to be manifested in addictions, depression, or poor health due to poor health choices.


When we judge others, we are comparing and reflecting things about ourselves we don’t like and are unwilling to acknowledge (then we don’t have to change.) Or it could be things we would like to be but are unwilling to make the effort to become. It is far easier to judge others than to look in the mirror and acknowledge our own shortcomings. In our judgment we take our complacency and suddenly become perfect while everyone else is not. It really is a trap keeping us from growing, improving or changing.


Jealousy is so close to low self-worth it reminds of me the chicken and the egg. Which came first? They feed off each other, morphing into something not necessarily good for our well-being. We don’t often see jealousy depicted as a great quality or attribute. Rather than being jealous of others, a much healthier view is to find inspiration to be, do, or achieve more in our lives. Use it as fuel to feed your desires contributing to your self-worth, as opposed to the trap of self-degradation.

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Are You Depressed or Suffering from Unresolved Grief?

Posted by on Apr 24, 2017 in Grief Recovery, Responsibly Healthy Tips | Comments Off on Are You Depressed or Suffering from Unresolved Grief?

Are You Depressed or Suffering from Unresolved Grief?

 “Grief is depression in proportion to circumstance; depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance.”  ~Andrew Solomon

For many people, grief is associated only with death; the feelings that can come with this grief are expected, allowed and, for the most part, accepted. Grief, however, can be the result of any type of loss and this is where things can get confusing and messy for us.

Any alteration of circumstance or change in a familiar pattern of behavior can create varying degrees of grief. Moving, losing a job, kids leaving home, divorce, retirement, loss of health and vitality, even the loss of opportunity can all create sorrow and sadness.

  • If you have areas in your life where you

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Why Do We Need a Crisis to Change?

Posted by on Apr 10, 2017 in Responsibly Healthy Tips | Comments Off on Why Do We Need a Crisis to Change?

Why Do We Need a Crisis to Change?

“Faced with crisis, the man of character

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How You React to Other People’s Upset and What it Says About You

Posted by on Mar 27, 2017 in Responsibly Healthy Tips | Comments Off on How You React to Other People’s Upset and What it Says About You

How You React to Other People’s Upset and What it Says About You

“Whenever other people are upset, always

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